Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Randomize
