Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
