This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
