well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
