SEEEEXXX PLEASE
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
