Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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