Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
