my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
