last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
