The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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