Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
