someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
