How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
