oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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