dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
