Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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