You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
