FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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