You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
