you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
