i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
