she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
