my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
