I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will be naked everywhere
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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