yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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