I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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