all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
