I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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