I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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