is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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