Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
