Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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