This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
