he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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