Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize