Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
