I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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