he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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