I can't watch pbs sober anymore
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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