He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I love you. Go after that dick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
