I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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