so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
