How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
