cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
