words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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