hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm jealous of your bromance
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
