Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We are two peas in an std pod
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
