I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I cut my penus on the lid.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
