i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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