guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
where are you?
Hypothermia
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
