I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
