We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
