we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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