Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
